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Good Omens and American Gods

Recently I’ve spent a few frustrating days catching up with TV. I rarely watch anything, but when I found out that two of my favourite books – Good Omens and American Gods – were receiving the visual treatment, I knew that within ten years I’ll sit down and watch, and that I will have a great time!

I did not have a great time.

 

Good Omens

Watching Good Omens was the most frustrating time I’ve spent in front of the TV since I had last screamed “y u so STUPID, Jason Stackhouse?!” at the screen. When Good Omens got something right, it was better than I could have ever imagined, surpassing what I would have considered to be perfection. When it wasn’t perfect, though, it was either embarrassing or… boring.

 

 

The biggest problem was God. (This is not a sentence I ever expected myself to utter.) Frances McDormand was a great choice, it’s just that she shouldn’t have been there at all. Certain parts of the book have proven to be too difficult (or impossible) to translate into a visual medium, so the series would sort of take a break for McDormand to provide a rambling explanation of why things were happening. I was reminded of my grandma, who used to watch soap operas. We’d sit in front of TV and I would discreetly fiddle with my phone, as grandma provided running commentary: “you see, this is Bill, he is a bad guy, he is very rich because he stole the money from his ex-wife, and this bitch here is his girlfriend Tabitha, she’s cheating on him with the gardener, she is not a nice woman at all, but then Bill deserves it…” I’ve always felt that if something needs to be explained, it doesn’t belong – in a book, in a museum, on TV. This is not to say that I would have known how to do it – it just didn’t work for me.

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A month in the life of a book

Storytellers was officially released on March 28, 2019. Today it’s exactly one month old. Once I’m on my tenth novel I probably won’t even notice this sort of thing, too busy signing contracts with Hollywood and buying mansions. But this is my first book-baby and every morning I wake up excited to see what’s going to happen.

Here’s what happened so far…

Writing

I’ve rewritten the entire book twenty-one times.

In September 2017 I believed the book to be finished and ready to go. I asked an editor to go through the text and correct my grammar and spelling – I am painfully aware that I’m not a native speaker. She returned the book just in time for my 40th birthday (poetic, right?), mentioning in passing that perhaps a few things could do with another look, not too much, just a lick of polish. The most shocking thing she said to me was that she felt that the female characters seemed slightly flat.

Those who know me are aware that I’m an avid feminist. Almost all of my favourite books feature amazing female characters so full of life that I feel like we are BFFs. I could have dismissed Megan’s remarks, and almost have, but two of them overlapped with my beta readers’ remarks. When one person doesn’t like a detail, it’s generally not a problem. Two, though – one of them a professional – should make you think. So I did a bit of rewriting here and there. Eighteen times. Seventeen months. The total: twenty-one times over twenty-six months. Lads and ladies, here’s my book-baby, a result of an extremely overdrawn pregnancy.

The #PubDay

Also known as the day when you can actually purchase the book.

GOOD GODS. First of all, I didn’t realise that Amazon paperbacks did not feature the preorder option, accidentally publishing an unfinished version on February 27, giving scammers a chance to “offer” the book that didn’t exist yet, meaning you could “buy” it from the scammer – but not from me. The hardcovers came with two dates: publication date and on-sale date, which technically is a preorder, but in practice the book showed up on Amazon on March 28th, declaring that it was released on March 7th. At least the e-book did come out on the day it was supposed to be released. There were, excitingly, some preorders. The super deluxe boxed sets sold out within less than three days since I announced them, way before I even put one paragraph online.

This was the simple bit.

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Why reviews are important

At the end of my book (NOT pictured above) you will find the following:

Thank you for reading Storytellers – I hope you enjoyed it.
I would be most grateful for a review or a comment on Amazon, Goodreads, or any other website of your choice. Takk fyrir!

You might have noticed similar requests in other authors’ books. Not just indie authors like me, but traditionally published writers whose books have their own shelves in Waterstones. Oddly, we don’t say “only leave GOOD reviews”, so… why? Is this some sort of a competition?

Why, it is! As of March 31, there were 3.4 million books in the Kindle store. That’s a lot of competition. Average sales of a debut novel are 100 copies within the first year and 500 copies within the book’s lifetime. This includes both J. K. Rowling and Jane Smith, whose sad story I tell below…

(in)Visibility

Jane Smith just self-published a novel called Rabbits Attack. The novel, which she worked on for eight years, sold 30 copies in its first week, 15 in week two, 2 in week three. Her heart sinks as Jane watches her sales drop. With a sigh, she opens her book’s page and notices something odd. Her book’s Amazon page lists… fifty-five other titles – and that’s with an ad-blocker! Those are divided between so-called “Also boughts”, “Customers also shopped for”, and “Customers who viewed this item also viewed” sections. So, on her own book’s page, Jane has fifty-five competitors. That’s more than the number of books she sold.

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Storytellers: out today

It turns out that it is possible to be so busy launching your novel to forget to tell people you’re launching your novel… so… guess what!

Storytellers is out now.

Available formats: MOBI/Kindle Unlimited (Amazon exclusive), paperback, hardcover, and large print/dyslexia-friendly paperback. The regular paperback is also available on non-Amazon stores – here’s the full list of links (including country-specific links).

The super deluxe boxed set sold out before I even really announced it, which was a RIDE, let me tell ye. Now the ride is being very slow in the hands of DHL, but that’s another story… The deluxe and signed editions are available here on Etsy. So are the postcards, bookmarks, and some more cute swag will be added in the coming days. I’ve got posters as well, but sending them would cost 5x more than the poster itself, unless I fold it and post as letter – what do you think – would you want to buy a folded poster instead of a rolled one?

The audiobook is coming soon – this is as precise as I can be right now. I’ve got the voice training, I’m also training switching between accents (it’s going to be a total mish-mash), I’ve got studio equipment and software. The one thing I don’t have is silence – this is also why the video newsletter had to be postponed, as I’ve spent 12 hours today listening to walls being torn down next door. This is also a convenient excuse the reason why the soundtrack is “coming soon”.

Speaking of the audiobook, subscribe to my newsletter now to hear me speak a bit of Icelandic and help you pronounce the characters’ names – either tomorrow or on Saturday, depending on the amount of walls that still need to be torn down next door. As always, if you miss the newsletter the video part will become available two weeks later on my YouTube channel, so you can subscribe to that one as well (but remember the newsletter subscription comes with a free Vikings: from history to History e-book, and I don’t mind you unsubbing right after downloading the book, it’s all good).

I’ve created a special website for Storytellers, featuring a lengthy excerpt from the first chapter, behind the scenes information on the history of prohibition in Iceland, the meaning of the phrase “þetta reddast”, and more. The second, full trailer is coming next week. I’ll be updating the website further with more behind the scenes articles and my chosen cast for the inevitable Hollywood adaptation!

 

Reviews (excerpts and links)

Alright kids, this one is FOR SURE, a keeper. Bjørn has a knack for writing witty, enjoyable characters. Bjørn seamlessly brings the two [stories] together in a fast paced, action packed ending that definitely left me reading way past my bedtime (a bookworms famous last words amiright?) – ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Read Explore Repeat blog

Storytellers is historical fiction written in the style of an Icelandic saga. […] When the story reached its denouement it was worth the wait. – ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Rosie Amber

The book was reminiscent of Kazuo Ishiguro’s The Buried Giant, in both theme and mood. Both books deal with the unreliability of memory; both are largely melancholy books. And perhaps there is allegory in them both, too. Storytellers is a book to be read when there is time for contemplation, maybe of an evening with a glass of wine. It isn’t always the easiest read, but it’s not a book I’m going to forget easily, either. – ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️Marian L. Thorpe (author of the Empire’s Legacy series)

What an amazing book! […] I pride myself on figuring out mysteries and plots as I go, and I have to say, I was not only on the edge of my seat, I never saw the ending coming! – ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Penni Ellington (Goodreads)

This book blew me away. It’s a terrific story within a story, both of wich have rich characters and are very compelling. There are characters you hate to love, and love to hate. There’s action and adventure. The twists and turns made this book one I couldn’t put down. I can’t wait to see what comes next from Bjorn Larssen because I need MORE! – ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Kelly (Goodreads)

 

One more thing…

I am changing the description of this website – very slightly. I’m replacing the word “writer” with “author”.

Many people have their own definition of what those two words mean. Way too many wonderful people I know – creative, interesting, curious, exciting people whose words enlighten my days – don’t feel like they’re good/accomplished/etc. enough to call themselves “writers”. The way I see it, a writer is a person who writes. I didn’t say professional writer, right? A ghostwriter is a writer. A person who writes fanfics is a writer. A person who says “ugh, this book is awful, I could write a better one in my sleep, I just didn’t get to it yet” – not a writer. I was that person for 39 years, so I have a lot of experience with being a not-writer…

An author – again, to me personally – is someone who authored something. You could say I was an author the day I received the final draft from my wonderful editor, Megan Dickman. Or when I got the text back from the equally fantastic proofreader, Abbie of Pilcrow Proofreading. Or when I got the first proof copy in my sweaty hands. But I’m making that little change today. And celebrating the #PubDay with tea and delightful Indian food, together with Husby, who’s been supporting me from day one (January 1, 2017), holding my hand, patiently reading multiple drafts, cheering me on, not getting too angry when he’d say “the house is on fire” and I’d answer “yeah right, sorry, got to finish this scene”.

Onwards, Buttercup, there’s more bookery to write!

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